Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
