just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
third nipple confirmed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
