ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it glows. i had to have it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
