i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize