I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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