Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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