Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
