Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
