i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
