I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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