Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
