peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
