What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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