absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
why is half of my head shaved?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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