I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
