I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
