Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just high enough for therapy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
