Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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