that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
