I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have feelings that need drinking.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
