she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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