Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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