Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
