I'm going to jail i love you
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize