do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
