You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
