I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
