There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
