my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize