Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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