walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
