so that wasnt chicken after all
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
