I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
