I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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