well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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