Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
