i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
