yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
should my penis look like a turkey
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
