I don't think brook has ever known best
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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