The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
