Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
