i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
