Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
