The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
accomplished twins. life is a go
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize