so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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