O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
