it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize