Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we're making bets on your personal life
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
