I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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