I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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