I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
