No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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