I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
