Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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