Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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