kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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