he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
