I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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