Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize