That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
