Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
